I cannot believe almost every single thing happened to me recently. But, with God, it's possible and nothing to be afraid of. After weeks of brain-twisting,working hard,pain,pressure,dramas and all the evils collides; I lost in my own world. I just can't persuade myself when my surroundings change, drastically. With all the emotions of hope, I lose all my confidence, lack performance at school etc. Ugh, what a life!
Those terrible weeks terribly torture me to death. This is the first time in my entire 15 years living with tonnes of pressure. I hope there will be a good day for me after weeks of harassment! Argh. I'm struggling and striving to survive, in fact, I knew it wouldn't be as easy as ABC. Get what I mean? Err, direct to the point.I've been representing school for English parliamentary debate recently. That was fun and tiring. I transformed drastically from the lazy one to uh, you know, a bit hardworking. Which is way too impossible earlier. Haaha, kidding. Guess what, the andrenaline/epinephrine do works! When I reached SM La Salle, I was, you know, a bit nervous. It was my first time though. During preparations, pretty much leads me into depressions. I can't control my emotions. I kept telling myself, ' Am I ready? Physically & mentally? Well, I have too. I've gone so far. I skipped class for this. Or it means nothing'.
When the flashbacks started, I'm having a lot of fun with my friends. We stayed until 3 a.m and woke up at 5 am.(Not all included) Haa, I'm not going to talk about that. Kay, first round, we beat Smk Agama KK. Oh, I was the second speaker and awarded as the 'best speaker'. Second round, our opponent was Sm Stella Maris, we lose. yeah, I knew that. I'm exhausted and I can't think a thing!
Assembly at school, teacher presenting certificates and praise me in public. I was like, 'what the fish??'. Ah, thank you. After assembly,others are being sarcastic towards me. 'Eh, the best speaker. Popular in La Salle!' & 'Even you're the best speaker, I'm so much better than you.' Arghh! Stop it, I'm sick and tired of it. I do not seek for attention here peeps! Omg, how sad! So what, I did the great job for school! I don't give a damn for it okay. So shut the hella up!
Important events coming, Public Speaking, Drama for English Language, Spell-It-Right,KDCA-ISCEP, urgh and what? YEAH, PMR BABY :O
much love,
tasha
