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▸ 2012; Behind every smiles... ... ♬
Friday, March 9, 2012
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There's an inevitable pain. You were so full of yourself, I am the one who suffer; in this pool of lies. I hate to accept the fact that I am too attached to you. I was so scared of losing you, even I knew deep inside I must end this very feeling towards you. Every time I saw you my heart skipped a beat. Oh how fool am I? I shouldn't let my feelings overwhelmed me and do something that shouldn't be done. I get angry for nothing seeing you with other girls. What if I'm not good enough? What if they are better than me, sure they'll make you happier, no? That is the problem, I'm being too paranoid. Some called it
jealousy, I called it
fear of losing you... I was getting stronger back then, I had my own goals, my own dreams and hopes. Just when I felt giving up on us.......
BUT I CAN'T.. WHY? Because I was weak. I couldn't fight with my own feelings. Insecurities. Then you turn around and tell me I'm the one.. I don't know whether it's real or not; it does make me feel better. It is warm and I love it. You had a better life now. As for me, I keep on dreaming and I make it happen; struggling so hard to achieve it. At the same time, I am so confused with my own feelings; should I wait? Or just walk away...
Beginning of the new year and everything went normal again, I mean my school life. I got into science-stream class. The class is not too crowded, only 27 students were selected. I found out that one of my friend from my primary school in that class too. An old and a good friend of mine actually. So, here's the thing. At first, it worries me to accept the fact that I'm turning 16 this year, well, not til my birthday. There must be a killer subjects! Great, found one, PHYSICS. For Chemistry and Biology, I'm getting into it. In fact, I love Biology! I'm giving my all and am doing my very best for Chemistry and Physics.
Today is the beginning of yay-for-gayness. It's school holidays. Happy hols to me, loads of homeworks, tonnes of essays, and revision for all subjects. I'm going to finish my work early and have a nice and relaxing holidays with comics, good food and Internet. That's all for today, I'm going to sleep 'cause I'm completely worn out for today's activity at school. By the way, found this in my lappy. When I was in Form 3, I really miss my long hair though :'(
Good night,
-tasha ❤
